During the day, I'm fine. I'm back to my research now, the scratching of my quill soothing, while Justin either works around his mother's house, or does some other things I'm not aware of, possibly things the Dark Lord calls him for, although I do not ask.
At night though, that's another story. At night, I dream I'm back with Marcus again, and wake up fear gripping my heart. Justin sleeps through the sound of my ragged breathing, and I don't want him to share the pain I feel. He already feels guilty enough. Instead, I curl up next to him until he murmurs in his sleep and pulls me close. It takes a long while of listening to his heartbeat until I can fall asleep again, and then, when I do, he is still there. Waiting.
I rub my eyes, and look up from my book. The nights of little sleep are gaining on me, but when I see Justin come in, I smile as if nothing is the matter, and tell him about my latest research until he silences me with a kiss.
At least some things don't change.